Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Patrick's Confession

I am Patrick, a sinner, and this is my confession.

Like my namesake, St. Patrick, I was raised in a Christian home. I have been very blessed throughout my life with a great family and great friends. The Lord has been so faithful to me. Rarely have I endured tragedy. I have so much for which I can be thankful. But I have lived most of my life up to this point as a sinner.

You see, the worst sins are not the ones that are so blatant. Rather the worst sins are those which can be couched secretly in the heart. They are known to God alone and so they are committed specifically against God. Our Lord rebuked hypocrisy the sharpest when He ministered here on earth. I have been a hypocrite many times over. As such, I deserve the worst of our Lord's rebukes.

I jealously guard my reputation. I do not allow others to see me for what I am. But inside I am truly full of dead men's bones. I am filthy and wretched. As St. Paul, wrote, "I know that in my flesh nothing good dwells."

I have recently come to the Catholic Church. Previously I had been involved in other Christian denominations. As I come to the Church I am beginning to see for the first time what I really am. God have mercy on me, a poor, wretched sinner! Coming to the Church strips me of so much knowledge and status that I had in previous places. I must begin again. I am the novice. I am the learner.

I am learning that the Faith is all about Jesus. It isn't that other Christians don't teach that. They do! But I have been so slow to learn it since I have been so full of myself and my own ways and have not seen the very elementary principles of Christ.

It is all about Jesus, and it is all about love. Becoming Catholic began as more of an intellectual exercise. It is now becoming much more an exercise of the heart. I am coming to grips with the Gospel. I am dealing with God's love for me, a filthy, wretched sinner. I am discovering, albeit very slowly, my love for God. I do not doubt my earlier conversion, but in many ways I feel as if I am only beginning to be converted.

In this blog I will share my thoughts with those of you who want to take the time to read them. They will not be profound. For some, you may be coming here from my previous blog: Catholic Seeker. For those who haven't seen that, you can find some other details of my journey to the Catholic Church there. It can be accessed through the link on this page.

I am Patrick, a sinner. But through the Grace of my God, I have been adopted as a son, and I am being molded into a servant so that I may some day truly be a saint.

Amen!

1 Comments:

Blogger Joni said...

Truly, it is a journey for all of us, Patrick.

Thank you for being so transparent.

1:09 PM  

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